Why Do We Let Them Dress Like That?

Someone may recognize the title of this as the same as Jennifer Moses online article published awhile back where she also did a live interview. Every parent should read and hear her comments. Nothing else seemed to express my thoughts better than her question because it is the question I keep asking myself as well: Why do we let our daughters dress like tramps?

An amazing addition to all this - that raises even more questions in my mind - is that the woman asking these questions is apparently not a professing Christian. All I can think is that there is something definately missing in the puzzle. What's missing are all the many Christian voices who speak loudly about how to gain wealth and enjoy living - but are noticably silent in expressing any concerns or teaching about how Christian's should deal with the serious issues relating to today's fashions.

As this article's subheading says, "Women of a liberated generation wrestle with their eager-to-grow-up daughters—and their own pasts." Which brings me to the question as it did this author, "Why do so many of us not only permit our teenage daughters to dress like this—like prostitutes, if we're being honest with ourselves—but pay for them to do it with our AmEx cards?"

She goes on to express her theory relating to them dealing with their past - which I believe is correct in many cases. She then adds, "So here we are, the feminist and post feminist and postpill generation. We somehow survived our own teen and college years (except for those who didn't), and now, with the exception of some [more accurate would be few] Mormons, evangelicals and Orthodox Jews, scads of us don't know how to teach our own sons and daughters not to give away their bodies so readily. We're embarrassed, and we don't want to be, God forbid, hypocrites....

"As for the girls themselves, if you ask them why they dress the way they do, they'll say (roughly) the same things I said to my mother: "What's the big deal" "But it's the style." "Could you be any more out of it?" What teenage girl doesn't want to be attractive, sought-after and popular?

"And what mom doesn't want to help that cause. In my own case, [and I think most moms can relate] when I see my daughter in drop-dead gorgeous mode, I experience something akin to a thrill—specially since I myself am somewhat past the age to turn heads."

But the truth is as her Wall Street Journal article reveals, promiscuity has hit new heights and it includes preteens, teens, as well as college and young adults. Obviously because of the constant stream of semi-pornography from about every media source. So it's past time to take notice and begin making some serious changes in the direction we are going - much less the slimy pit we're allowing our children to slide into?

It is somewhat blunt and crude, but the final comments in this woman's article should awaken everyone. "It's easy for parents to slip into denial. We wouldn't dream of dropping our daughters off at college [or our preteens and young teens at a friend's overnight party] and say: "Study hard and floss every night, honey—and for heaven's sake, get laid!' But that's essentially what we're saying by allowing them to dress the way they do while they're still living under our own roofs.' "

It's time to think seriously, why do we let them dress like that? It's time to come to grips with the answer - because the end results may not be so pretty. More important - we will answer to God for the results it brings.

Fashion is About More Than Clothes

We say "don't dress like the world," but what is worldly when it comes to dress? I think we can learn something about what it is by what the world say about dress? I think also we can learn about it by discerning what's behind the sad looking, gaunt expressions of the models who stride down the runways displaying the latest fashion ideas. What they seem to be saying may relate to the spirit behind the whole business that they are in. Sad and empty. This was evidenced recently as I read about a world-renown wealthy Italian fashion designer who a few years ago was murdered in cold-blood - and some of what the fashion world and its editors wrote about him after his death:

" 'Designer Gianni Versace understood that fashion was about more than clothes. He knew that a simple dress could also make allusions to art, music, architecture, and the cult of celebrity.'

" 'His style was flamboyant, profoundly sexy, and often crossed the line into a wonderful, dangerous vulgarity.'

" 'He unapologetically cut dresses obscenely low or rediculously high. But he could also cut a perfect suit that blended classic lines with delicate sensuality.'

" 'Fashion for him was a glamorous, colorful, sensual world.'

" 'He was a homosexual and designed men's wear accordingly.'"

Through such comments and in looking at those who represent the world of fashion design it's not difficult to sense the spirit behind the whole scene of today's fashions? They also give more than a hint why the poor models look so lost and hopeless? How does any of it line up with the Word of God? It doesn't.

Everyone's life in various ways will reflect what or whom they admire or follow. The story of this man's life, his work and his wealth sheds a great deal of light on the world of fashion.  As a Christian I should be concerned with what the story of my life will reveal? Will it highlight my desire to dress like the world - or will it reveal that my life reflects the purity of Christ?

"For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light....Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them." Ephesians 5:8, 10, 11.

Did you know you’re in a beauty pageant?

It has been an interesting journey as I search for different writings relating to the subject at hand. Some things are very disturbing and I’m still mulling them over in my thoughts. But one that I’ve found interesting is the well documented report written a few years ago by the YWCA, “Beauty at Any Cost.” I recommend it to anyone, particularly, mothers of young teen girls.
Their initial statement will get anyone’s attention . “Every woman in the United States participates in a daily beauty pageant, whether she likes it or not.” The thought that quickly follows may be, “Yeah, sure. That’ll be the day that I’d ever be in a beauty pageant.” But as you read on you begin to realize the truth in the report’s first unbelievable statement.

“Engulfed by a popular culture saturated with images of idealized, air-brushed and unattainable female physical beauty, women and girls cannot escape feeling judged on the basis of their appearance….

“The issue is not new, but the extent to which it is invading the lives of younger girls and women of color, and the lengths to which women will go to achieve an unattainable look, is an increasing problem. The pressure to achieve unrealistic physical beauty is an undercurrent in the lives of virtually all women in the United States, and its steady drumbeat is wreaking havoc on women in ways that far exceed the bounds of their physical selves.”

Even more sad is the fact that this all also applies to Christian women and girls. A recent research study (one that I’m still mulling over) reveals this disturbing truth. All we have to do is look around us in every arena of life to know that it is true though.

At first the idea of our ever being in a beauty pageant may sound exciting. But as the Y’s report states, there are consequences of our beauty obsession. And in many cases they can be deadly consequences. It’s time we evaluate the direction we are going and what may be the end result - not only in our own life - but also in the lives of our children, or others who may be watching us.

The Frog in The Pot

As I continue to reflect on the issue of modesty in our society today it becomes more and more clear that Christians may have become like the proverbial frog in the pot. With the frog the water is slowly heated but the frog never seems to notice as he swims contentedly around in it until he boils.The frog could jump out anytime but because it happens slowly he never even tries to escape - until it's too late. In a similar way we are slowly becoming comfortable with our social surroundings - accepting whatever comes off the fashion runway - failing to think about the outcome. Unlike the frog though we may give a little kick now and then and say about these fashions, "I'd never buy that sleazy thing," or "yuk, where'd they come up with those colors," or "that reveals way too much." It's not long though before we're right back in the store purchasing them - settling back down in the water that continually has gotten hotter but we haven't even noticed.

This thought continues to replay in my mind especially in thinking on a startling video I reviewed online awhile back. It was about how the advertising industry for the past 40 or so years continues to mold us into thinking and behaving like that as females (beginning as children) we are nothing more than sex objects. I consider the video pornographic and it is certainly NOT one that I would recommend - other than for the purpose of shocking someone's senses - that maybe they need to jump before the boiling water totally engulfs them. I can only pray they would be of a mind to where it would still actually shock them - as it certainly did me. In the video Jean Kilbourne analyses how the advertising media continues to depict women. In shocking detail, she decodes an array of print and television advertisements to reveal a pattern of disturbing and destructive gender stereotypes. Her analysis also challenges you to consider the relationship between advertising and broader issues of our culture.

The disturbing scenes of it were still fresh in my mind a day or so later when I was browsing through the tweens and teens section of a major department store. Nearly everything I saw and touched because of the fabrics and styles brought back to mind the message from the video. Disgusted with it all I stepped out into the aisle to leave. As I did I nearly bumped into a woman with a beautiful little 4-5 year old girl by her side. Glancing down at her I couldn't help notice that as usual the little girl was also donned from head to toe (hair included) to look like what is now the typical older teenager. As she glanced up at me I also couldn't help noticing a sad look to her eyes. I later remarked to my husband that it all makes me long for the return of the "little house on the prairie look."

Of course I do not know if the parent of that child is a Christian. But the whole incident was only a reminder of what seems to me to be the acceptable norm within the Christian community as a whole. That just as did the proverbial frog we also are becoming comfortable - accepting what ever is the latest fad - considering it as just the social thing to do.

The answer to this whole problem of course is to remember - and follow the command. "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world." 1 John 2: 15-16. But have we like the frog in the pot become so adepted to our surroundings in our day to day fashion choices so that we have no desire to jump to freedom?